Back to work today. It's the biggest thrill of my life sitting behind this desk. I get to look at paper, move folders around, use stamps, fight with the computer, use the phone...i can't understand what half the patients are saying but its communication with the outside world....i find myself holding back from enquiring "so what are you doing today? wanna come down to the waiting room and have a coffee?". Yes my job is without a doubt the adrenaline rush of a lifetime.
Actually that's a lie.
My job doesn't exactly work in with my New Year resolution so i have been making ammendments to my resume and preparing to get out there and do the job hunt for a second means of income. Considering im only in the surgery one day a week theres no real point quitting, im part of the family down here almost coz ive worked for the same boss in three different jobs since i was 14. I dont mind staying on once a week, plus she gives me extra work when i need fast cash.
I find out my uni offers on Wednesday. Im pretty nervous. If i don't get into my course I'm gonna be pretty much devastated. I just hope either way i have someone to celebrate with or mourn with when the fateful day arrives. No doubt the evening will be full of msn *bleep bleep* "so how many offers did u get?". A pretty daunting thought if i dont get what i want.
Im sposed to be going out tonight i just realised. Man! Like i wanna do that! I've been so lethargic and anti social lately. I actually looked forward to coming to work today just to get out of the house and be around people and hopefully put myself in a better mood than i've been in of late. Yet i soon pointed out to myself that it wasn't going to happen as i snubbed the first patient who was, in retrospect, probably trying to assist me and make my morning a little less complicated. He wasn't to know i was having a complex over the computer and was ready to throw a chair at it. I swear the number of different codes, passwords and forever changing data procedures on this machine is enough to keep me suitably clueless every Saturday.
I constantly get asked "are you new here?" (not because i'm hopeless but because i'm only here one day a week), to which i reply "no, i've actually been here 2 years....(but im much better looking than you remember)" however, on the long stressful days i grin and humour their theory saying "yeah you'll just have to bear with me" and then proceed to take my sweet arse time with everything. On the other hand if i am in a mood similar to that of today's and the patient insists they have never seen me before i feel like questioning how often they come down with ameobic dysentry and whether they plan to make our Saturday morning dates a common occurrence. Seriously, it's not that shocking if their is a new secretary since your last visit. Maybe that means your healthy. I'd be concerned if the patients were my chum bums.....it would indicate to me that maybe they are going to die soon.
I've had too much time off. I'm struggling to remember how to do things. I had such a sweet handle on it before. I kicked arse. Now i'm poo....but no one here has to know that, i just blame the machine :p "sorry one moment the computer doesn't want to co operate......(where the fuck is the billing tab.....hrmm that could be it......nope) .....haha don't you just hate technology sometimes".
I think my evil sarcastic attitude is where my sense of humour hides. Reading over this blog i've had quite the little gigle at myself. That's pretty tragic i know (or "trag" as my 50 something year old boss likes to say) but you know what? I've never cared whether i make you laugh ne way, i amuse myself for the sake of my own sanity...and fulfillment of life...and ...shit. Anyways whatev! You did it with an alsation!
My shoes are hurting my feet and a patient just walked out backwards looking at me really weird....psycho. Diseased folk are a worry. Gah gross! Last mouthful of tea was stone cold as well...gotta hate that. I shall return to this blog momentarily, the boss requires a refill of coffee....addict. *Brief waiting period- cue classical music- or in this case the musical delights of today fm- Bon Jovi yesssssss* Ok i'm back. Sorry for putting you through that agony.
Things are so quiet on a Saturday morning. I guess I should use the time to file crap but seriously, i put things away when they arrive, i don't stick it in a folder for someone else to do so i don't see how it should be up to me to put it all away. Then again technically i'm their "junior" which is bollocks coz im 18 but they are all 50 something so i guess they dont see it the same way i do.
This blog is turning into a running commentary of my morning. As an aside my literacy skills are becoming appalling. Once there was a time that i could spell any word you threw at me. But now I make the most common and ridiculous spelling and grammatical errors! I feel so gay! I need to go back to an educational institute and do some real work. I feel like its been a long time since i sat down and did some real writing and produced an item of sophistication and flair. Keeping these blogs is keeping my brain active in that area though and whilst its all fairly colloquial and casual, i like to create pieces that other people will reap some enjoyment from also. Not so much in these entries coz i write whatever the fuck i want knowing i can for the time being until people find these posts. That's when the entertaining begins again.
I wouldn't mind a job in journalism or some form of media communication. I often feel as though my opinions of things im interested....well actually i more or less only feel this way about my opinion of music...... i think i have good taste. Everyone used to come to me in highschool for the gig guide and for musical reccomendations and the other musos at school used to have those elite musical criticism debates with me- you know the ones that only someone who supposedly knew what they were talking about was worthy of taking part in.
I find the musos i affiliate with these days have a somewhat higher opinion of their own musical knowledge and my opinions whilst appreciated to a certain degree are generally treated as.... an outsiders opinion?..... that's prolly not the best way to describe but what i mean is because i don't play an instrument...well a cool instrument..... i can't fully appreciate all aspects of the music. I'm a dancer AND an instrumentalist of the finer more classical variety. I have no choice but to know my shit otherwise i'd pretty much suck at both. I can't dance without knowing which rhythm, which count, what timing i have to work with. I can't play in musical ensembles without knowing all the sounds, counts, rhythms, beats etc of the other instruments including the cool ones. I know what I'm listening for and i can discern whether it's good or not. I think the fact that my taste is leff confined to a specific genre is the real reason my opinion is occassionally disregarded. I don't hold every undiscovered, newsound band in as high esteem as some and yes i do like The Used..... but guess what, they were once an undiscovered newsound band that moved into mainstream, i'm not gonna hold that against them. It's ok to keep liking them even if lots of other people do. Even if lots of other people are gay little emo's who should be squashed for tarnishing the image perfectly reputable artists. Also weird music doesnt always equal good music, that's why it's weird. Don't pretend to like it to seem artistic and left of centre, we don't need to increase the popularity of crap music with a surreal edge. Surreal is an alternate way of saying "we aren't that good, so we made it interpretive to hide the crapness- we hope you interpret it as good." I believe Picasso had a similar idea. That's proabably a bad example, being an artist in an influential time when everyone was prepared to see the unnatural as a symbol of sophistication and status. "clearly darling if you can't see what the artist is saying you do not have sophistication of mind" what he was really saying is "I'm blind and don't know what im painting....how bout you tell me what im painting". What these "artists" are really trying to tell you is "im tone deaf....you tell me how i sound"
Crap it's busy now, guess i'll wind this up here, i wasn't really going anywhere with it anyway, just passing some time....yeah good i just jinxed myself, it's gone quiet and now i'll be bored. But as i was saying....ya mum.
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